Over the past month, I’ve had a lot of people inquire as to how the certification process is going. I figured now would be a good time for an update. When I last posted, I had just completed my third home study check-in, and I am now still waiting for the written home study to be finished, submitted and approved. When I began this process in July, I don’t think I realized how long it would be, but I am extremely grateful for how responsive the agency I’m working with has been. I thought that getting through the safety check would be the hardest part of this first step, but it turns out that it’s the period afterward that’s the hardest.
Though hard, I can honestly say that I am grateful for the break in between. The past few months have been extremely difficult personally and professionally, and I am just recently coming out of that darkness. During this time, I’ve been amazed at how many people have contacted me to share their own stories of foster care and adoption. People I have known for years who were either adopted themselves or have gone through the same process I find myself in now, each with their own beautiful stories. I’ve read books that have been incredibly enlightening and hopeful. I have a growing collection of clothes and toys in my basement that has all been donated, each of them stored in totes based on age ranges (because of my obsessive need to organize). The bookshelves in the kid’s room have started to be filled with favorites of my own, as well as recommendations from my fifth graders.
My students have been amazing during this process. I’ve always believed that my students should not only see me as a teacher but also as a person. Earlier this year I told them that I was going through this process in hopes of one day becoming a parent myself. After the initial shock of thinking of their teacher as a parent as well, they became increasingly curious about the process, and I’ve been open with them about it. Every so often now, some of them will check in with me to see how things are going. A few weeks ago, I took a day off just for myself. I wasn’t sick, but I needed time by myself to get things back together. When I returned, a teacher told me that they had asked my students where I was, to which they replied, “Well, he didn’t tell us he was going to be gone, so he’s either getting a new window or he’s getting a baby.” Neither of those things happened that day, but they were still very excited when I came back the next day.
There had been glimpses of moments in the past few months where I thought maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe I needed to wait a little longer, or maybe I was just biting off more than I could chew. I realize now that all of that was a result of the mindset I had been in. It is now May, and I’m getting ready to wrap up the year and say goodbye to students that, for the most part, I’ve had for two years. As this time with them comes to a close, I know two things for certain. One is that the end of this year will be incredibly difficult. I hope to have made some sort of positive impact on my students, but I also hope they know how much of an impact they have had on me, not only as a teacher but as a person. They have made me more patient and more forgiving, and for that, I can’t thank them enough. The second thing I know for sure is that my decision to become a parent now is the right one.
They say that good things come to those who wait.
So I do.