Almost a year ago I contacted Frameworks West Virginia, a nonprofit that provides resources for families and foster and adoptive parent recruitment. Through them, I was given a list of agencies in the Monongalia County area that deal with the training of foster care parents, and I made my decision as to how to move forward. I met with my agency at the end of July and started PRIDE classes quickly after that.
I’ve always been a bit of a dreamer, existing on the line between reality and the hopes I have in my own head. When I graduated from college with my Bachelor’s Degree in Elementary Education, I entered the classroom as a long-term substitute the following fall in the school that I once went to and then student taught in. I felt as though I was good at what I did. Teaching was my thing, people always told me that through college. I had a knack for it, so why wouldn’t I be successful in the real world? I was hired and had mere days to prepare my classroom. I entered fourth grade, ready to teach Language Arts, probably my least favorite subject, but I was so happy to have a job. I spent all of my time outside of school researching classroom management and lesson unit ideas in an effort to make the subject fun. I realized after my first month that lessons on paper didn’t always translate well in a real classroom and that no matter how good you think you are, you can and will always fail at some point. I failed a lot that year. I cried a lot that year. I rethought my career choices a lot that year. On one occasion, a member of the board office was acting as an interim principal as our school went through a tough transition. She entered my classroom and observed my management skills and my lessons. Later that day she asked to sit with me after my class had left. I will never forget that meeting because in it she told me that if it were up to her, she would have asked me to leave and rehired for the position. I was crushed, but I worked with a fantastic fourth-grade team, and they flocked to my rescue that year. They picked me up and some of them even met with this lady to explain that the group of students wasn’t exactly the easiest for any of them.
Yet still, I was a dreamer in almost everything I did, and continue to do now. So when I began the process to become a foster parent, I dreamt. I turned in all of my paperwork quickly, having most of it collected and turned in within a month of being asked for it. I thought that within six months I would be finished with the process and preparing to welcome a child into my home. Once again I found myself faced with the harsh reality of dreams and the real world because that timeline I had made for myself came and went. So, I made another one and set my sights for summer. It would be perfect. As a teacher, I have several weeks that would be an opportune time to transition into this new life that I was creating. I cleared my summer plans and altered my summer work schedule for childcare.
The world, however, is not perfect. Plans do not always work out the way we imagine they will, and sometimes we have to be real with ourselves.
To say that I’ve taken this easily would be a lie. People continue to ask how the process is going, and why it’s taking so long, and I try to just stay positive and tell them that it’s almost done. I’ve been frustrated, and downright angry some days. There have been nights that I have woken up at one or two in the morning and just stay up because I was so upset.
I want to be very clear, however, that I’m grateful for the agency I’m working with. My social worker has been kind and positive throughout the entire experience. There have been mishaps along the way, but nothing in life is perfect. In truth, it’s not their fault. The system in West Virginia is a broken one. In recent news, the Federal Department of Justice has threatened to sue the West Virginia Department of Health and Human Resources over the foster care crisis that has arisen, largely in part to the opioid epidemic. The state currently has over 6,500 children in the foster care system, with about 1,300 foster families. Caseworkers are supposed to handle no more than 15 cases at a time, and in many areas, they have more than 25 each. Not only that, but they are severely understaffed for what they are tasked to do and many agencies have vacancies that are tough to fill due to burning out. The agencies have a responsibility to put the children first, which means court dates, supervised visitations, transport, and several other responsibilities, which means that the process to become a foster care family can become lengthy.
It’s easy to be angry when things don’t go as you plan. It’s been a setback for sure, but the end is in sight for this phase. I recently had the last of my home study visits and the paperwork is being finished up to send to the state for approval, which I’m told can take up to a few weeks and even then they rarely go through the first time without being sent back to have something fixed. I had dreamed of using summer to welcome a child into my home. I had dreamed that this transition would be quick and somewhat painless. I had dreamed that I would be far busier than I am over these next few months, and I had dreamed that there would be more than a class pet and quail chicks (that I’m currently birdsitting) in the room I had set up for a child.
Dreams don’t always come true in the time limit we set, but that’s ok. I’ll still be a dreamer.