To my future child,
There’s an ancient Chinese belief that an invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet. This thread connects regardless of time, place, or circumstance. It may stretch, it may tangle, but it will never break.
I didn’t know how, but I knew at some point in my life I would be a parent, your parent. There was a moment, though I’m not sure when that a small red thread softly tied itself around my heart. A voice in my mind had whispered for years that I would go on this journey to find you, and that quiet murmur continued to grow into a deafening roar until I did something about it. The red thread that connects us started to tighten.
I know that we won’t come together in a conventional way, but I’ve never been all that conventional anyways. I wasn’t at the hospital to welcome you into this world, and I wasn’t the first to hold you in my arms. I have, however, held you in my heart for quite some time now. Though I haven’t yet met you, know that I think about you all the time. I think about you as I watch those close to me venture for their first time into parenthood and as I watch those that are veterans continue to be wonderful parents as I quietly take note. I think about you when it’s silent in the house and think about the welcomed noise that you will bring when you’re here. I think about the kind of person you will be, and about the kind of person I will become when I am your parent. I think about how I have no idea how to braid hair. I think about how I have no idea how to actually throw a football. I think about how I can’t remember the last time I changed a diaper, but I’m sure it was forever ago. I think all the time. My thoughts are of you, and that red thread gets tighter still.
I wonder if you have even come into the world yet, and if so, I wonder about where you are right now and what life has already handed you. I wonder if you feel loved and if you feel important and wish you knew just how truly important you are.
Though our red thread may be tangled and feel stretched right now, it is still intact. Sooner or later that thread will shorten and we will meet. This road has been a long one, and I’m sure it will be longer still, but I know in the end things will work out. You’re the missing part of this story, and I know that you’ll be here when the time is right.
Our thread is too strong for you not to be.