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Writer's pictureInstant Dad

A Brief History of Life Changing Events

Updated: Nov 3, 2019

I had always had a vision of myself as the father of two. It seemed like the perfect number. I was the first in a set of two, and the majority of people I know had two children. A boy and a girl, what a perfect picture.


As the school year ended I decided it was time to make some changes in my life. Teaching is incredibly stressful, and I knew that if I were to pursue my dream of being the father of two children, that I would need to make some career changes. I was already coming home and feeling exhausted from teaching. It was difficult to save that energy for my own kid at home, and I only had one at that time. So I left the classroom, sort of, and took on the position of technology integration specialist when the planets seemingly aligned and it became available. With that in place, I notified my agency at the beginning of summer that I was ready to take that next step towards a second child, preferably a boy.


Much like my first go-round, I began the process and thought it would happen immediately. Also, much like my first go-round, it did not happen immediately. I waited the next months for the phone call, and then one weekend while my parents were visiting, as they were literally packing up to go home, the call came. I listened to his story and said yes, then got off the phone and asked my parents to please stay for a bit and help me get ready. I told L she was about to become a big sister, and she immediately started crying because she was so happy, after asking me for months to take a second child. She offered up her bedroom since it had a smaller and safer bed and we moved her to what was then the spare room. I was told that he would be coming by the end of the week, which gave me a great sense of relief since I was not at all prepared. I was then called back and notified that he would be coming the next evening instead, and I went into panic mode.


He came late the next day and I welcomed him to our family, as L had already gone to bed. I loved him immediately, and L did as well.


My picture-perfect family was complete. A girl and a boy, just as I had always pictured.


Life, however, has a way of throwing curveballs, and a few short weeks later I received an email from K's DHHR worker. His brother was being removed from his placement and needed a new home. I immediately told them no, there was no way I could be a father of three. I didn't have the room. I didn't think I had the energy. No. Absolutely no.


But then I was up all that evening thinking, texting, and thinking some more. Surely I had to take his brother, right? How would that even work? I didn't have a bedroom or a bed for him. Three kids was not my picture-perfect family.


I emailed the worker the next day and told her that I would take him, and just like that, I was the father of three. A girl and two boys. Just like they had in the past, people came from all over to help me, and before I knew it I had a new set of bunk beds delivered to my home shortly after he arrived.


Though not what I had planned, our picture is still a beautiful one.

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